I have always hated the holidays. I always seem to be relieved when they are over.
Whether it was growing up Jewish, and never having my gifts compare with my friends, or just the expectation that it should be a great time but never was, I'm not sure. It was always those expectations that seemed to be the problem. What was it I wanted to receive? What did I want to give? I felt a lot of pressure to get it right.
In becoming an adult, and having kids, it became an opportunity to think of others and be generous with them.
My favorite Chanukah was when I planned to get my son, Greg, these beautifully carved wooden animals for Chanukah. I started in September, because they were expensive, but every week I purchased one. The final gift was a wooden cage where they could meet up together--which miraculously went on sale just in time.
Every night, I loved lighting the candles, and being prepared with a special gift. By the eighth night, the wooden cage was the cherry on the sundae. The whole experience fulfilled my expectations--my son loved them.
As we enter into this new holiday season--I am happy to keep it simple. Pre-sent lists for Chanukah and a Yankee swap for Christmas make it easier to get the right things. Discovering a beautiful online card service makes sending cards easy as well.
But somehow in the back of my mind and in my heart---I know that the holidays aren't about things--or having more stuff. They are about peace and love, and caring for one another. I crave the inspiration to give what I can to people I love and the ability to open to their love and attention. It seems like a way of being, that would make everyday a special experience.
So rather than beat myself up for lack of holiday cheer, I will take on a practice of generosity with myself and others. How can I be sensative to my family's needs the whole year? What gifts can I bestow when I don't have to? How do I live joyfully every day?
So rather than dreading the Holidays--I can create a holiday-like feel throughout the year, so when they come, I will hardly know the difference. I will let you know how it goes.
Happy Holidays and Create a Great New Year
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1 comment:
Hi Nancy - Well said! I often encounter people who have achieved so much in their lives - tremendous success...wealth, acknowledgement, accolades. Yet they still feel unfulfilled. In my experience, the key they are missing is often the simple gift of Giving. As you say, it is a simple change, but for most, it requires practice. We are trained from the earliest ages in American culture to focus on Getting... Achieving, Accomplishing, Aquiring, Securing, Winning. Initiative and Motivation are certainly useful in life. However, they are not the keys to happiness. Giving is what fills us up. Loving someone else is what makes us feel most loved. Reaching out without expecting something in return is what makes us feel free. It can seem so counter to what we are taught, but in my experience, it rings true. Thanks for sharing your resolution!
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